Archive for June 30th, 2006




You’re right, you cannot be my Edmond

Last night I had dinner with someone who has been in my life for three years now. Our relationship has been an unconventional one. It amazes me that he still asks if I will move in with him. He has been asking since October and I keep saying no. I keep wondering why we have stayed in this quasi-relationship as long as we have. What keeps us attached to one another? We have both drifted in and out of each other’s lives, we have had so many things happen to us, and yet we still come back to each other. It amazes me. I don’t know why I can’t let him go. He is the one I have compared all others too and no one has come close. He is everything I want. Now, if we could just get our lives together as two different people, so we would be able to live together as a couple. It’s so strange to me that he has been in my life all this time and has been always more than a friend, but never quite a “boyfriend”. I don’t know what is to become of us, but I’m sure it will be an adventure getting there. I don’t know if we’ll ever live together or if we’ll ever be in a committed relationship, but he is the one bright spot in my life. That has always been, and will continue to be, true.

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